Packing for the retreat reminds me of the simplicity living goal I had neglected for a while. I’m using a luggage 1/3 the size of the one I usually use for 12-day trips, since I’m not bringing my netbook, camera and other gadgets, and their cables and chargers. Am also not packing books, nicer clothes, vanity girl-stuff or empty space for shopaholic’s harvest.

My luggage has only home-wear-type loose t-shirts and pants, basic toiletries, a set of bed linen and simple utensils. And my raincoat, hehe. But I had to pack enough of important things since I don’t think I’ll get to buy if I run out. Like a whole roll of toilet paper and sanitary pads. Very necessary.

I’m looking forward to the trip, can you tell? I want to know what life will be like sans work, emails, SAP, users, office politics… talking rubbish or serious, laughing uncontrollably, grinning… SMS, Google reader, Facebook, radio 1003, MP3s, books… eating any time anything… and seeing mum and hearing her voice.

Just me, breathing.

I went for our regular Friday netball this evening and it being a public holiday, we were the only group at the courts. Usually there’d be at least 6 or 7 different groups playing. The girls lamented we very no life.

I’ll be shaking legs at home if netball was cancelled, so it was good life for me already. Life is probably just what other people do on Fridays, no matter what.

I was just gleefully thinking I was striking a good balance between playing hard enough and carefully averting injuries, when I felt my ankle-knee-hip suddenly give way when I dodged a defender. Managed to balance in time, but isn’t the subconscious creepy? No longer a young thing eh.

I’m playing again tomorrow morning with folks from work. Am praying my muscles don’t get too lethargic. Must remember the sunblock and breakfast.

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The Sister is arriving from Beijing in a few hours. Short, short trip but I’m very excited I’ll see her!

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I was reading God’s Debris by Scott Adams the last few days. Could’ve been done in two hours, but working late meant I always fell asleep before I could make it past one paragraph at bedtime. When I finally got down to it, it was a very simple yet compelling read, and I enjoyed thinking about the different unconventional ideas and thoughts. (Though I sometimes got suspicious of the book, like it was playing a joke on me.)

Adams said in the introduction that “God’s Debris is for people who enjoy having their brains spun around inside their skulls”. You have to read it if you have 2 hours to spare. I got mine from Amazon but it can be downloaded from the internet for free I think.

I hadn’t realised my last blog entry was a week ago! Am failing miserably in this blogging everyday thing.

In invisible corky dots: (visible ones remind me of work)

Went to look at the Christmas lights today, after the civil defence course ah gong sent me to. I reckoned I won’t (want to) be in Orchard nearer to Christmas, so I dropped by specially to see the said-to-be-much-better-than-past-few-years’ lights. It was as said. But I don’t really appreciate Christmas lights in general lah. Hahaha.

I always end up in the Christmas crowds every year I resolve not too. This year we’ll see.

I bought a raincoat from Muji, the cheaper plastic one (though I was lemming for the expensive pokka dot one). Have always wanted a raincoat, and the item appeared on the Vipassana retreat checklist given to us, so it was good excuse.

I looked in several places, including the usual plebian boutiques chains, and Muji was the only one that stocked raincoats. I learned to like raincoats after being caught with an upturned brolly in a Shanghai typhoon several years ago, but it seems like the only people who wear them are motorcyclists. (And every friend I asked asked back if I’m looking for a poncho?)

I like Paragon’s Muji much better than the one in ION Orchard. Paragon’s store has classy service folks and I no-comment the one I met at ION. 老鼠屎, perhaps. And I must learn to forgive forgive forgive people for having their down days.

I’ve to say I’m biased against ION, which gave me a literal headache all three times I was there. It’s the confusing shop layout on the more mind boggling B-floors and messed up escalators.

Then again I disliked Vivocity but have since gotten used to it. So it could be just me being resistant to new things that are very hyped up.

I got a haircut today at Far East Plaza. Of course I felt like an auntie in that the teen-land, but the cut was worth the sadness of being too old because I got a very short, youthful fringe.

Every time I get a different hairstyle I’ll imagine I’m 六月 and sing her song. But not all haircuts sing “走不出愛情的人是呆子~ 不應該留著一樣的髪形~” The 陳先生 I had a crush on a while ago is becoming uninteresting. Because, 反正人家又沒有很喜歡你

When I got on the taxi tonight the uncle told me, “Miss ah I’ve taken you before.”

So I asked him if he was the retired police or the uncle who used to paint ships?

I was rather chatty when I first started this almost nightly OT taxi routine. (If not for the new KPE, I’d still rather take the MRT.) I had so seldom taken taxis that chatting with uncles was a novelty, and often I was still feeling high from the rush of work at work. I learned quite a lot of things from the chats with these uncles.

But I’ve been working very much later, I’m not so high late at night, and when it’s past 10, I prefer listening to Ah Dong on radio. So I learned to say, “I don’t want to chat” by mumbling my destination in a very tired and sad voice when I get on the taxi. It works all the time.

Today uncle complained about his daughter-in-law and said he’ll tell me about his Taiwan adventure the next time he picks me up again. Funny. Should chat with these folks and not listen to so much radio huh. (But I love Ah Dong so.)

Looks like we haven’t much of 2009 left. 46 days to be exact.

I’ll be on retreat for 11 days in December, for a 10-day Vipassana meditation course. I learned about the course from a blog, and I’ve been looking forward to it since I signed up in late September.

Meditation because I need to more clearly see myself. I’m not a cool, calm and collected person. I laugh and agitate over more things than many people, I’m prideful and fearful, and I talk to myself in my head all the time. For the past few years I have tried to learn meditation from books and yoga classes, but I always fall asleep faster than you can say omm.

If this is not a positive experience, I’m guessing it’ll be memorably torturous -
- I’ll have to “observe silence of body, speech and mind”. That essentially means no talking or communicating non-verbally with other people. No singing too.
- The day begins at 4 am and ends at 9 pm. Snoozing is not an option.
- I’m not allowed to bring books, writing materials, radio, voice recorder or camera.
- Only 2 main vegetarian meals will be served for breakfast and lunch, and the evening meal will consist of fruit and tea. (I’m not a picky eater but I usually eat many meals over a day.)
- I’ll have no access to internet or even my phone.

I feel daunted but I’m going to give it a shot anyhow.

I started the year engrossed in 胡因梦’s autobiography 《生命的不可思议》, and got quite interested in the philosophies she shared. But I’ve never gotten down to do more readings and research. Part of me knows I’m not ready – intellectually or spiritually – for more. But I need to start somewhere and this course is one small step. It’s a good activity to end the year with too, like I’ve come along in a circle where I started the year on.

And yes, I need to plan for the other 35 days I have left of the year.

Some days everyone I meet at work is efficient, positive and knowledgeable.

And I met an old friend for lunch. And I had a few good laughs (so many funny folks around.)

Makes my day already, even if I’m still stuck in office at 11.

I was at a colleague’s work station; we were to work out some details on the department year-end lunch.

We had a hotel ballroom floor plan in front of us, and I asked him to take out his pencil and eraser (ok I said rubber) because I expected quite some changes.

He opened his stationery drawer and rummaged through it.

I peeped over his shoulder and ask what he was looking for?

He said the rubber.

“Rubber 不是在那里 lor?”

“哪里? 沒有 leh”

“There, 那里”

“哪里? 沒有”

“There!” I pointed at the piece of Staedtler right in front of him.

He said very coolly, “我不是要找這個啦…”

Before I could say Orr and leave him to find his special eraser, he picked up the eraser, burst out laughing and said, “哎呀，很丟臉，找醬久原來在面前…”

-_- Boys!

When I was young I sometimes threw a hissy fit when I couldn’t find my things. Mum would patiently help me search high and low, and reminded me I might have just forgotten where I placed them. When I inevitably find them and realised it was my own carelessness, I’d hide them and pretended to carry on my search because I didn’t want to admit my mistake.

I’ve never known another person who does that too. A 30-plus-year-old one at that.

I can’t stop laughing.

I’ll want to remember today as the day I -

• received my 《不合時宜》CD in the mail. Cheeky postal guy told me, “I finally know your name…”. Funny.
• learned that quaint lil Casual Poet café is closing. What a pity.
• found out I still have a crush on 乏善可陳先生. It’s the strangely familiar way he smells and every time I talk to him I worry about how I smell.

Otherwise it’s as ordinary as any other Mondays. And it’s the only November 9, 2009 I’ll ever have.

(I’m aching all over, and feel a sore throat and fever coming.)

Here’s a hastily taken shot of me and my rock star of the day 龍應台.

The talk was very much focused on her experience researching on materials and collating stories for 《大江大海》. She’s a skilled story teller and admirable thinker, and I’m happy I got to listen to her in person.

One day I’ll have courage to pick up 《目送》. When I’m not so cry babyish anymore when I think about my parents.

Then again I’m hoping I will, in spite of.

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I had some fond childhood memories of 82 Genting Lane. When we were in primary school we attended Chinese speech and drama class at the News Center every Sunday for 1-2 years, and it being Sunday meant we were free to roam the grounds. (A few times we annoying kids got reprimanded by (I supposed) journalists when we accidentally hid-and-sought into their offices.)

Today was the first time I revisited the place after close to two decades. The place had shrunk, in the way your primary school and other childhood settings do when you first revisit in decades. Other places like the toilet and the view of the carpark outside sprung up familiarly from my tucked away memories, but it was mish-mashed with reality and I was caught in an unclear span of time and space.

The torturous long walk out to MacPherson Road in my memory was, in fact, a short 5-minute one. And today I took a photo of the building I was happy to see every Sunday. It was just opposite no. 82 and it meant, “媽，我們到了！”

Mary and Peter start running  in the same direction at the same time.

Mary runs at a constant speed of 8km/h and Peter runs at a constant speed of 11km/h. If they run along a 1.5km circular track, what is the distance Peter must run to overtake Mary?

I was concocting a maths sum in my head while I ran just now, with me playing Mary and the stranger who started at the same time my fictional Peter. Of course I’m still lousy at maths and have no interest in problem sums, and my sum is probably even not solve-able. But I’m beginning to see that the maths sums I disliked so much when I was 13 can be fun to think about and can have boliao real life application.

And Peter stopped running after one lap, so Mary didn’t have protagonists for her sums.

(Actually there’s one about another stranger John who runs in opposite direction and runs past Mary twice every lap but this is too complicated for me.)